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They all just applied for a PPP (Prophecy Postponement Program).
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Armageddon was paused by a Spotify ad.
Heaven’s IT tried resetting their prophecy calendar, but it defaulted to 1999.
Their apocalypse calendar has just one entry: “Someday.”
Death tried to collect my soul but couldn’t find parking.
Death has a Cameo account, $50 per doom.
Famine uses “hangry” as a diagnosis.
The apocalypse is now in beta.
Famine’s idea of scarcity is a waitlist at Erewhon.
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